Leading Your Heart Through Spiritual Battle By Cary Schmidt for Church Leaders
Do you ever feel “off” in ministry leadership? I’m referring to that intangible sense of unseen resistance, abnormal discouragement, or general “out-of-sync-ness” that shows up for no good reason?
Today is Monday, a notoriously “off” day for pastors as our adrenalin crashes after Sunday. But for some unexplainable reason, I’m more encouraged today than yesterday—which is highly unusual! Let me share why.
Sunday was wonderful in every respect, but something oppositional was unfolding in my inner world. The whole day felt like I was looking through fog—during worship, teaching, and even afterwards when trying to decide what to have for lunch. Trying to teach felt like a wrestling match with jumbled thoughts and a struggle to find logical footing. After the message, my imagination screamed, “that was the worst ever!”
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These sensations are ironic because they weren’t true. My fog wasn’t reality, but it sure felt powerful in the moment.
What are these randomly recurring ministry experiences and how do we navigate them as spiritual leaders? Thirty-one years into ministry, this I know—any time I take a next step to lift up Jesus, I can buckle up for spiritual opposition of some kind. It’s as predictable as the sunrise.
Paul warned us, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.—Ephesians 6:12
Any way you look at it, real ministry is spiritual warfare—it’s a gut-wrenching, bare-knuckle brawl in the “invisible realm.” Let’s break it down so we can limit its actual influence over us.
What Spiritual Battle Looks and Feels Like
Sometimes it’s purely an internal, emotional, psychological weight or oppression. The sheer intangibility of this makes it hard to identify. In this case, you just feel that oppressive fog I described—unexplainably discouraged or generally negative. (Paul called this “affliction and distress” in 1 Thess. 3:7)
Sometimes it’s tied to fatigue—as in a busy ministry season, when you are expending more physical and emotional energy. The additional expenditure can make you more irritable or sensitive.
Sometimes it’s conflict oriented—bumping into others emotionally (who are perhaps facing similar battles themselves), or finding conversations more combustible, running thin, or generally “flaring up” more easily. Satan loves to stir up confusion and conflict.
Sometimes it’s circumstantial—a car accident, a hard drive crash, a technical systems failure, an irritating or discouraging series of events, but more than usual, indicating that this is more than random. These event strings feel strategically coordinated. (Perhaps this is what Paul meant when he said “Satan hindered us…” in 1 Thess. 2:18)
Sometimes it’s personal and functional—this could be an amped up anxiety about present ministry challenges, this Sunday’s message, upcoming events, or other factors that are weighing on you. This is an added layer of ministry intensity that you’re temporarily carrying, and maybe tossing and turning over. This can also contribute to tension, stress, and inner turmoil or relational tension. Can we say “lost sleep?”
How to Deal With Spiritual Battle
First, see it for what it is. At least for me, this is 99% of the battle. For years I would get neck deep into this before realizing it’s predictable and primarily spiritual in nature. Seeing it as deliberate opposition (as opposed to merely random occurrences) would immediately neutralize the vast majority of “its power” over me. James 4:7 says, “Resist the Devil and he will flee…”— he’s all smoke and no fire. But he’s really good at smoke!
