Cross-Examining the Climate Change Cultists by Kurt Schlichter for Town Hall
If you want to watch the pinkos fret, simply state the indisputable truth that what they call “climate change” is a massive hoax. Their fallback is inevitably that “science” – which they purport to love except when it demonstrates that there are only men and women and that you can’t change the sex you are born as – has decreed that because we peons insist on not living in caves like primitive tribesmen (okay, non-binary tribespeople) the Earth is going to cook. And, of course, the only solution is to do a whole bunch of things that leftists always wanted to do anyway. There’s no time to think, no time to reflect, and certainly no time to argue. Why, who are you to question the scientists?
Well, I’m a lawyer. I question scientists for a living.
Now, I have no scientific training to speak of. I majored in communications and political science, so the only science I studied at UC San Diego had to do with the physics of foaming when I poured Coors into a glass, as well as the mechanics of human reproduction. Don’t expect me to discourse deeply on the heat retention coefficient of CO2 – I don’t even know if that is a thing, but it sure sounds sciency.
Instead, I hire scientists in most every case I try. Sometimes I hire several in different disciplines. The other side does too, and here’s the weird thing – at trial, the other side’s scientists always, always, disagree with my scientists.
Weird, huh? Because I was told that in the context of climate change the science is settled, that there is only one possible answer and that anything else is at least quackery and possibly felony denial.
Now, it’s easy to be cynical about this and assume that lawyers hire someone who simply parrots what conclusions are needed to support a particular case. That certainly happens – we even have a name for them that would make Hunter Biden’s ears perk up if they weren’t already permanent-perked from all that meth: “Whores.” And quality lawyers despise the whores. A smart attorney wants a scientist who tells you what he really thinks and who has a solid, rational basis for his conclusions. You need to know if your case is strong or weak – if it is weak, you want to resolve it before trial.