About two years after becoming a Christian, I sensed the tug on my heart to be in pastoral ministry. Early on as a new Christian, I desired to preach God’s Word and counsel God’s people. However, the latter has always been tough since I’m naturally an introvert. It’s not that I don’t have a desire to counsel His people and get in the middle of people’s lives. It’s that I’ve always struggled with getting to know people. I don’t use being an introvert as an excuse, though. There have been times that have caused me not to do something I should’ve done.
Ever since I felt the call to be a pastor, I wanted to jump at the first chance I got. In the first church, my wife and I were a part of a ministry program, which I enrolled in. I was thrilled to know that I would get hired somewhere as a pastor at the culmination of it.
Of course, God had other plans, and things change. We eventually moved churches because of theological differences. I thank God that I did not remain in that program and become a pastor at a young age. I would’ve been a complete disaster.
I planned on attending seminary online once I graduated college, which I did. I knew that once I graduated, I wanted to look for a ministry job somewhere. And I did.
However, time and time again, God showed me, in different ways, that ministry was not happening soon. I withdrew applications I sent in and prayed for God to steady my heart because I was discouraged. I felt like I was ready.
I had the desire for ministry–to preach, teach, shepherd, but wasn’t ready. My mind thought it was ready, but God knew my heart. He knew there are things in my life that need to be different before ministry can be a reality.