Imitate Me: Paul’s Model of Mentorship by BETH JARVIS for Christianity Today
Unlike power-driven approaches, healthy Christian mentoring is characterized by generosity and trust.
I had been living in Germany for six months and was struggling to learn the language. I did fine with ordering groceries or buying a bus ticket. But I couldn’t tell a joke. I couldn’t share a story or a hope. I couldn’t make a friend.
Thinking that a different language school might help, I called a new school in our small university town of Tübingen and immediately spoke with the director. She slowly talked me through directions to the school in German and invited me for the placement test. When I walked in a couple days later, she greeted me by name. She remembered my voice, my accent. In fact, she knew everyone’s name. She greeted everyone with the same joy that brought immediate trust.
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It was the first time I heard how beautiful German can be. There was a kindness to it. I knew that if I watched her, I would find a way to sound out joyfulness and gentleness in this new language. I saw in her a version of myself—or at least the version I wanted to be.
Effective mentoring is similar to learning a new language: It involves an intentional practice of imitation. It’s a relationship that offers a return to listening first, nurturing curiosity, developing new skills, and embracing trial and error until one day you find a version that fits.
More than mimicry
People often seek out a mentor in a time of transition when they need to develop a new skill or job or are uncertain about their future. The mentor becomes a unique kind of friend who knows the mentee’s before and after—and often the messy in between. Mentoring is a form of friendship offering us a reminder of who we are while providing continuity with who we are becoming to meet the needs and demands of a new context.
