Hey GOP, There’s More Than Just Ukraine Going On by Kurt Schlichter for Town Hall
There’s this thing called multitasking and we GOP voters expect the Republicans to try it out. Democrats? Nah, because we expect nothing from Democrats. But the Dems are good at multi-tasking. Even as they pretend to be butch about Ukraine – such fakery is rivaled only by the bride’s performance on a Bulwark staffer’s wedding night – they simultaneously embrace such initiatives as schoolhouse kiddie grooming and women’s sports champions who are dudes. They can focus on more than just Ukraine. Of course, we actually expect nothing from Republicans either, but at least with them we normals have a chance to influence their behavior, even if only by threatening them with a primary by someone based who will drag them back to America from their DC estates and make them campaign amongst the unwashed.
There are a lot of miserable things going on here at home in addition to the Disney-approved kindergarten perversion propaganda and girl athletes who are boys crises. We have an elite treating the idea of free speech like Bill Clinton treated his wedding vows, gas prices higher than Cheech & Chong hanging at Seth Rogan’s place, and a border that is open wider than Ana Navarro’s pie-hole at Golden Corral’s Endless Fountain of Ham. We have a potential Supreme Court justice who thinks kiddie porn pervs should get a slap on the wrist and an election system that is a slap in the face to democracy. Burger is $7 a pound and Jussie Smollett is free – and don’t be surprised if his double jeopardy argument works on appeal!
Yeah, there are a lot of bad things going on here in the US of A thanks to that desiccated old pervert in the White House, but we’re not hearing enough about them from Republican poobahs. We are hearing a lot about Ukraine though. It’s an important issue, but we’re approaching a month of war and the tough Ukes have not given in yet. The nimrods pulling Biden’s puppet strings are still slow-walking the delivery of anti-tank missiles, which is bad. Reports say that they are refusing to give over real-time intel to the Ukrainians, lest the plucky defenders use it to target Russian units, which would seem to be the point. The MiG thing is still a thing, though it’s kind of useless in the sense that a couple of dozen Bad News Bears jets from the 80s are essentially irrelevant. So yeah, there’s stuff to be upset about regarding Ukraine. Biden’s as good a commander-in-chief as he is a father, and we need to be all over him so our military doesn’t continue to figuratively impregnate strippers even as our State Department, more or less figuratively, does blow off a foreign hooker’s fourth point of contact.