3 Questions to Ask Before Critiquing Your Pastor by JOHN BEESON for The Gospel Coalition
When I was 20, my childhood church changed leadership. Soon, its vision statement changed too. I was across the country in the middle of undergraduate studies in Bible and theology. Out of what I saw as the infinite resources of my leadership experience, I generously offered my wisdom and wrote a letter to the new lead pastor.
I’m still embarrassed by that letter.
The pastor never responded, but I’m guessing he never forgot it. I’ve never been able to create a relationship with him, and it seems he intentionally kept me at arm’s length after that letter. I don’t blame him.
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Twenty years later, I’m sometimes on the receiving end of such messages. Throughout the COVID-19 crisis, I received more feedback than in any other season of ministry. And I’ve learned that every letter is an opportunity for me to grow in wisdom and humility. But every message also takes an emotional and spiritual toll.
All this has prompted me to reflect on that embarrassing letter, and how I might do things differently now. Paul tells Timothy elders are “worthy of double honor” (1 Tim. 5:17). How do we show double honor to our pastors when we think we should offer criticism?
Here are three questions I wish I would’ve asked myself before sending that letter.
1. How close is your relationship?
I was merely an acquaintance to that pastor. Was it wise for my first substantive communication with him to be criticism?
I’ve preached sermons and had congregants I don’t know come up later and offer no comment other than to correct something I misspoke. As a pastor, I’m in an awkward position. I want to receive criticism well, but more importantly, I want to get to know them.
