False Pride vs
When I was drunk all the time or whacked on this drug or combination of alcohol and any assortment of drugs you couldn’t tell me anything – I knew it all. It was like that time in our lives between about age 16-17 through approximately 30 years of age – you remember, you knew everything and your parents were, well, let’s say nowhere near as wise as you. Then you woke one morning, you were past age 30 to realize that maybe, perhaps your parents were maybe, possibly, perhaps a little wiser, a little smarter? Yeah, I believe most of us have this type of experience, maybe it was just me. This is what it was like when I was drinking, except I was way smarter than the collective knowledge of everyone in the room! You know, false pride running the show. There was something else going on that was brought to my attention after I sobered up.
I have gone through life being told “you’re too sensitive” or “you take things too seriously”. Perhaps. The older I get it seems I hear this less and less but it doesn’t remove the sting of being told over and over you’re an outsider, you’re different, you’re somehow, not like the others but not necessarily in a good way. A driving force to build a massive ego (false pride)? Perhaps.
What it appears to be now is a sense of loss. An attempt to cover up for shortcomings, lack of formal education or a busted family life. 90% of my life, to this day, outside of the home my wife and I have made, my immediate family is distant and splintered no real roots or connection.
False pride has been a protector – “look at me and how smart I am” or “how loving I am” or whatever the flavor of the day happens to be. As I approach the end of the 50’s decade, life is taking on a different meaning.
The activities filling my day are what’s left from the stripping away as much of the ego as possible, self pride and desire to be known to the world. After being sober for a minute it is easier to see and easier to allow Jesus Christ to take the wheel. I just want to be quiet, love as much, and as deeply, as possible while allowing Jesus Christ to get all the glory. Jesus Christ is who should be remembered, Jesus Christ is the One doing the work, these hands, this body, are merely a vessel for Him to use. To God all praise. It is on bending knee that I leave it all at your feet and humbly ask these shortcomings be removed.
Do our motivations for creating matter to God? Proverbs 16:2 tells us that, “All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord.”
The world tells us that the purpose of work is to accumulate fame and fortune for ourselves. The meta-narrative of work today is that it is the primary means by which we make a name for ourselves in this life and prove to the world that we are important, valuable, and worthy.
For the Christian, the work of Jesus Christ should be the ultimate measure of value of our life, not the relative fame and fortune we accumulate through our work. Source