If Only We Believed
There are no words to describe the pain, fear and guilt that drove me to take drugs, for the first time, at age 9. Likewise, there are no words to describe the abundance of these tools of the enemy that kept me in addiction from age 15 to 40.
Having been to church, having an understanding of Jesus and actually dedicating approximately a year to studying the Gospel, and other writings surrounding a variety of religions, did not help to fill the God-shaped hole within. The pain, fear and guilt were not being handed over to the One that can actually remove them and keep them at bay. It seemed like these tools of the enemy were rusting, broken and of no value, until happiness returned and there was a moment the enemy saw a chink in the armor and off to the races I go.
How often we all find ourselves in this same position. I still find myself in a position where the enemy sees a chink, attempts to exploit it and, but today the enemy comes face-to-face with Jesus Christ. Using a new set of tools makes for a stronger body of armor. Not saying that it’s perfect, just stronger, thicker and better equipped to combat the tools the enemy uses to penetrate. Maybe one day my faith will be so strong that I will actually own what Paul teaches us about the Truth, the Way and the Life.
Father, help me with my unbelief…
Ephesians 1 KJV – emphasis added
4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:
5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,
6 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;
8 Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence;
9 Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself:
10 That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him:
11 In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will: